"First, please let me assure you - I’m not a grinch. I am however not going to hold back here, because being transparent is one of the most important values I hold dear in serving this community".
I love what the celebration of Christmas represents, however the lead up for us as a neurodiverse bunch, can be quite the opposite of ‘joy-filled’.
I have spent many a lead up to Xmas in tears, and there have been more than a few Xmas mornings where I have wished the earth to swallow me whole. Not because I am being ungrateful, or that I'm not deeply in love with my family, but for the unbridled, rumbly wildness that inevitably takes over our little dude.
We love him beyond measure. He is a beautiful boy, with a kind, exquisite heart, however ADHD/ASD/SPD aren't always compatible with big events like Christmas. While the rest of the world filters the hype and sparkle with a little more ease, his LACK of filter sends his nervous system into mis-fire, as it subsequently does, to ours.
From years of therapies, we know all the WHY’S and HOW’S of what is happening inside his anxiously-anticipating-sensory-overloaded system, but actually DEALING with it and MANAGING it is something else entirely.
HOWEVER something I HAVE gained from years of navigating 'interesting' Xmas’s is this;
There ARE things we can do to MINIMISE anxiety and support sensory overload to make Xmas a more pleasant event, because hey, there CAN be beauty in the chaos, right?
These are MY Top 5 (+1!)
Visual cues. In the lead up to Xmas, I make sure I have a visual calendar (yep - advent calendars count!) so my kids can SEE how many days they have left until the big day, it might seem like a no-brainer, but it leaves no surprises and helps anxious kids process the days leading up.
I don’t take them shopping. Period. Like, no way! I know shopping centres are a BIG trigger for us at this time of year, so I just don’t do it anymore! This helps me enjoy the experience of shopping, AND, we don’t come home fried, agitated and wondering why on earth we went in the first place!!
I keep them busy with lots of physical activity. When I’m too tired to run around, I invest in a trip to Bounce or Flip Out for an hour. I sit and recharge my batteries with a cuppa, and they exert the sillies. REMEMBER physical exertion = GOOD endorphins which makes the brain feel positive and helps the body wind down at night too.
DOWN TIME! My children NEED allocated time to zone out. I loathe to say this includes devices, however I really do believe there is a time and a place for them as its one of the things I KNOW helps my son to stop moving, and disengage from EXTERNAL sensory overload.
I schedule in a non-negotiable QUIET day either on Boxing Day or the day thereafter, where we have no visitors and can just let the kids decompress, get back into a familiar routine, and explore all their new pressies. Friends & family might not always understand this, however this is your ship, and you have authority (without shame) to sail it towards calmer waters - you know your boat best!
This one, I simply had to add in; I GO EASY ON MYSELF. I have allowed myself to recognise that I am quite burnt out with my kids by Xmas & I no longer deem myself a failure because of it . So, I either go for a walk alone after the celebrations end, tag team with my partner to have some undisturbed bed REST, or do something that simply fills my cup back up.
These things are simple, and uncomplicated, however by having them in place I have reduced my Xmas lead up anxiety, and I know I can lean into them when I get stuck, because I know for US, it works. Each family is different, however writing strategies to cope with the crazy can REALLY help you troubleshoot if you find yourself in the whirl of Xmas chaos.
With all the love,
Susanna xx
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